


Diverging Worlds

by Cassandra_Quail



Category: Oniisama E
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Wishful Thinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-07-15 02:17:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7202246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cassandra_Quail/pseuds/Cassandra_Quail
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What could have been if those flowers hadn't blown away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Nanako brushes a stray strand of hair behind her ear as she sits on the bench at the station, almost twitching as she checks the time again. Rei's late, but Nanako knows she's coming. There was something about her eyes when she promised to show her the sunset... Nanako knows something has changed between them. Rei's parting smile had said, _I'm finally ready to return your affection_.

She gazes out towards the ocean, watching the sun reflect off the gentle waves. She's spent countless nights dreaming of Rei, imagining her happy and well and wondering what it would be like to be together. She blushes, remembering all the times she's thought about her lips, and how it might feel to kiss them. Her mind drifts to the half-smoked cigarette hidden away in her room, and she wonders what Rei would think if she knew how many times she'd looked at it, touched it, just to feel closer to her.

A train thunders past, but it doesn't stop at this tiny station. Nanako stands up, twirling her parasol, and stretches her legs. She wonders if she's made some kind of mistake – did she get the time wrong? The place? She sits back down with a heavy sigh.

“It sounds as though you're carrying the weight of the world on those shoulders.”

Nanako leaps to her feet and turns around, almost dropping her parasol in the process.

“Oh, you're here, Saint-Juste!”

Nanako's worries melt away as Rei stands before her, looking impossibly handsome in a white shirt and tux, holding out a single yellow flower.

“I'm sorry I'm late. There was meant to be a bouquet, but it blew out of my hands as I was crossing the train tracks.” She smiles as Nanako takes the flower and puts it to her nose. “This one I managed to rescue, but not without a fight.” She holds up the palm of her hand, revealing a bloody scratch.

Nanako inhales sharply. “Saint-Juste, you're bleeding! Here, let me...” She rummages in her bag for a tissue.

Rei puts her hand to Nanako's wrist. “You worry too much. Let's just enjoy ourselves here, okay?”

Nanako nods. It's hard to adjust to the new Saint-Juste, who's a little steadier on her feet and ever so slightly further from that terrifying abyss.

Rei smiles and holds out her arm. “Come on, let me show you the beach.”

Nanako's hand reaches for Rei's slender arm, enjoying her proximity. As she breathes in, the familiar smell of perfume and tobacco tickles her nostrils; it's a smell she's grown strangely fond of during her time at Seiran. The two young women walk up over the railway line towards the glittering coastline.

Nanako can't stop smiling. It's a mixture of awe at the beauty of her surroundings and the surreal sense that this is too good to be true. She gingerly takes off her shoes and steps onto the sand, gasping as it squidges under her feet. Rei's already twirling a slow dance in the sand, laughing in delight.

“Saint-Juste, won't your trousers get dirty?”

Rei looks radiant in the sunlight as she pauses for a moment. “Clothes can be washed,” she says simply, then grabs Nanako's hand and pulls her into a waltz. “Doesn't the sea air feel beautiful?”

“It feels wonderful... with you, Saint-Juste,” she stammers. She wonders if the whole date will be like this dance, with Saint-Juste leading and Nanako trying to follow, unsure of any of the steps.

Their eyes are locked, hand in hand as they face one another. Saint-Juste is tall, protective. Nanako doesn't quite dare meet her eye. Rei smiles and moves her arm around her waist, pulling an unresisting Nanako towards her. She strokes her soft hair with an almost imperceptible sigh.

“You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.”

Nanako pulls back. “I _do_ want...” She doesn't quite have the words to finish her sentence, but Saint-Juste's face is so close to hers she can feel the warmth radiating from her cheek. Her inexperience and indecision is painful – achingly, desperately painful. The moment drags on forever as her desire to kiss Rei and her lack of self-assurance battle it out. Rei's face moves a fraction of an inch downwards, and Nanako's instincts take over.

Their mouths meet softly at first; Saint-Juste's lips are every bit as soft as Nanako had imagined, but in the flesh the elicit a deep movement in her chest. Her arm reaches around Rei's neck and before they know it they're locked together in a tight embrace; Saint-Juste kisses her as though her very life depends on it. All the suffering of the past months feels worth it just to be standing here, sharing this moment.

Rei struggles to hide a knowing smirk as they come back down to earth and pull away from each other. “Look, Nanako, the sun is beginning to set already.”

She tilts her head upwards to admire the expanse of yellows and oranges above them. “Oh, Saint-Juste...” It's one of the most perfect sunsets she's ever seen.

Rei flops backwards onto the sand, propping herself up with her elbows. Nanako sits primly next to her, playing absent-mindedly with her parasol. Rei's hand finds hers and they watch the deeper oranges and reds wash across the sky mostly in silence. Nanako turns every so often just to look at her Saint-Juste; her hair almost looks like a halo in the cool breeze and Nanako takes painstaking effort to memorise every crinkle in her face as she smiles.

“The tide's coming in...” Rei sighs. “When I used to come here with Mother, we'd always leave just after sunset.” Nanako squeezes her hand, and Rei looks up. “I don't want to go home today, though. I could stay here all night.”

“I'll stay here as long as you want me to, Saint-Juste.”

Rei chuckles. “I suppose if I'm going to keep you out all night, it should be for good reason...”

“What do you mean?”

Rei's eyes glisten as she gazes towards the darkening sky. “I'm sorry for all the times you've looked after me and I've pushed you away. This past year has been hard for us both. I want to give you something beautiful tonight to make up for it.”

She sits up suddenly and pushes Nanako gently back onto the sand, hovering over her for a moment before kissing her softly. Nanako's heart feels like it might explode as she pulls her close again. All those months of pent up passion and longing build up in her belly as Saint-Juste's thigh slips between hers. She lies back, holding tightly onto Rei and gently rocking her hips until the cold tide begins to lap at their feet.

Laughing, Saint-Juste pulls away, and then pulls Nanako to her feet. “Let's not get too carried away – we've got lifetimes for that.”

Nanako scrambles to rescue her shoes and parasol from the hungry tide. “Where do you want to go now? Are you hungry?”

Rei shrugs, and pulls a cigarette out of her pocket. “I didn't think to plan this far ahead.”

“Let me take you home and make something to eat. Would you like some stew? Soup?”

Rei breathes a long plume of smoke, then gives Nanako a crooked smile. “How about I take care of you for a change? You can take me home, but I'll cook the meal. You deserve some looking after tonight.”


	2. Chapter 2

Nanako yawns as she waits for the train to school. She's surprised she managed to get out of bed at all, but she's glad for the memories of the night before. She fell asleep in Rei's arms as they lay in her bed, talking with no holds barred. Rei woke her up when the sun started to rise, and she ran home; she managed to sneak in undetected and got dressed for school as though she'd been there all along.

“So, Nanako, how'd it go?”

She's jolted from her thoughts by a gentle poke in the ribs from Tomoko. She gives a coy smile beneath the make-up she's applied to hide her tired eyes (or is it to look pretty for Saint-Juste?).

“It's all over your face,” Tomoko teases. “I bet you had a great time... I'm jealous.”

Nanako is grateful for the train's arrival. She drags Tomoko through the crowd, but her friend isn't going to let her get away with it this easily.

“Come on, Nanako, I want _details_. I'm your best friend, aren't I?”

Nanako sighs gently, but she's still smiling. “Oh, Tomoko, it was perfect. The sunset was so beautiful... and Saint-Juste was the happiest I've ever seen her.”

“Did you... you know.” Tomoko winks.

Nanako blushes, scandalised but guilty.

Tomoko almost squeals with excitement. “Ooh, Nanako – who isn't going to be jealous of you now?”

Her smile fades; she hasn't considered that others might be jealous, just when everything seems to be settling down. It'll be okay, she tells herself. She survived an awful lot when she was selected for the sorority – and besides, now she has Saint-Juste at her side.

  
  


Saint-Juste is elusive all morning. Nanako worries that she's changed her mind, that she's avoiding her... but then her heart stops as she notices Rei waving at her from under the tree, dressed in her usual black, looking even more exquisite than she remembers. Nanako runs over, but stops just before she reaches her. After their date yesterday, she's unsure how to greet her – a sly kiss or an overly-familiar glance could give their secret away.

“Are you feeling shy?” Saint-Juste strokes her arm. “Don't worry – we'll go up to the clock tower. We can be alone there.”

Nanako takes her arm and they start to head off, but Fukiko appears beside Rei and pulls her aside. There are some whispered words which Nanako can't make out (and tries to ignore anyway) and then Rei apologises.

“I'm sorry, Nanako. Miss Miya demands my presence,” she says dramatically, and then her face softens. “Wait for me? I won't be long.”

Nanako tries to ignore Fukiko's questioning expression, and heads to the clock tower alone. It's strange walking up the cold stone stairs with a light, pleasant feeling in her chest. She wonders if she and Saint-Juste will be able to transform a place of misery into somewhere beautiful, or whether they'd be better abandoning what they know and finding their own _new_ special places. The whole place seems to vibrate with sadness and anger. As she reaches the top, she shudders involuntarily at the outline of Fukiko, and the dagger marks within it.

“Sorry about that.”

It's Rei's voice behind her; Nanako's glad she came so quickly.

“Is everything okay, Saint-Juste?” she asks, whipping around.

Rei nods, with a strange smile on her face. “I sent my sister a bunch of roses yesterday. She wanted to say thank you...”

Her eyebrows are still furrowed, so Nanako pushes, “Is there something else on your mind?”

Rei thinks for a moment. “This might sound odd, but she told me she'd had a vivid dream last night – she couldn't tell whether it was real or not. She dreamt that I took too many pills and fell in front of a train, and said she was glad to see me looking alive and well. I can't remember the last time she was so nice to me.”

There are tears threatening to roll down Rei's cheeks. Nanako steps onto her tiptoes and kisses them away, licking the salt off her lips before kissing her on the mouth. She has no words, but the kiss is enough for Rei.

“If only...” Rei trails off, looking at the chalk outline on the wall, and goes to rub it off. Sighing, she gives up and shrugs before sinking to the floor in front of it, her back to the wall.

“The dream must have frightened her,” says Nanako, taking a seat next to Rei and resting her head on her shoulder. “Perhaps it made her realise how much you truly mean to her.”

“Perhaps.” Rei smiles, producing a brown paper bag. “I brought lunch today, look. When I told you my heart had found great strength for living... I meant every word.”

Her lips lightly brush Nanako's forehead and, overwhelmed with hope at Saint-Juste's words, Nanako turns to kiss her properly. This time she takes the lead; she lifts herself up and straddles Saint-Juste's long, outstretched legs. Her pale blue skirt rides up to reveal soft underwear, but she doesn't care. Rei's hands dance over her back, as lightly and perfectly as they do over the keys of a piano. There's a faint sound of footsteps coming up the stairs, but they're too entranced by each other to hear them; the feet pause, then hurry quietly away.

When Nanako finally pulls back, Rei grins at her with a fire that's been missing from her eyes for as long as Nanako has known her. “I'd like to take you out this afternoon – will you come?”

Nanako hesitates, but only for a moment. “I'll try not to draw too much attention this time.”

“Don't worry about it.” Rei kisses her quickly. “If you draw attention, it will only be because you're too good for me.”

  
  


“I didn't see you yesterday afternoon.”

Nanako turns around from her locker to find Kaoru's troubled face.

“Oh, I... I had a headache and went home,” she mumbles, carefully checking her gym clothes are all still in their bag.

Kaoru shakes her head, half despairing, half amused. “So, Rei was just making sure you got home safely?”

Nanako's cheeks darken; she knows she can't lie, especially to Kaoru. Her eyes scan the empty corridor for an escape that never materialises.

“I... saw you in the clock tower,” Kaoru says in a strained voice. “I didn't know you were up there – I just wanted to check on Rei.”

Nanako's shoulders sag and she closes her eyes. “I'm sorry, Kaoru.”

Kaoru puts a firm but caring hand on her shoulder. “Sorry for what? If you're anything to do with the way that Rei's been positively _glowing_ the past couple of days... I can't thank you enough.” She grimaces. “You know what I'm going to say about cutting class though, don't you?”

Nanako nods, chastened. “I know. I won't do it again – and I get the feeling that Saint-Juste won't either.”

Kaoru's smile is radiant. “I hope you're right.”


	3. Chapter 3

The days pass like a sweet dream, all blurring together as Nanako floats through the last couple of weeks of school on a cloud of smiles. She tried to keep Saint-Juste a secret, but whispers and rumours travel through Seiran like wildfire in a drought. But she's in a happy bubble, which even the green-eyed glares from Saint-Juste's flock of admirers can't burst.

It's been over a week since the school governors agreed to consider the petition to dissolve the sorority, but the anxiously-awaited result of their discussions is yet to be posted. Though stoic and resolute as ever, Fukiko has been more subdued the past few days. Nanako watches her walk towards the sorority house, alone and unsmiling. She stops momentarily to look at a newly opened rose, then turns her head straight towards Nanako.

Nanako glances quickly away; they haven't spoken for a while, and she's not sure her presence is welcome. She brings her gaze back up moments later to find Fukiko walking towards her, her lips curling into that unreadable smile which could equally indicate kindness or cruelty.

“Will you come with me to the rose garden, Nanako?” It's more of a demand than a question.

Nanako nods warily. “Is something wrong?”

She shakes her head. “I just wanted to talk to you about something.”

Nanako follows her with slow, cautious strides, looking over her shoulder. The rose garden is clearly visible from most of the school buildings; Fukiko would be a fool to try anything nasty where she could be so easily seen.

“The roses are beautiful today, don't you think?” she says, stroking one of the flowers. “What will happen to this garden, I wonder, with the dissolution of the sorority...”

“The governors have yet to decide,” begins Nanako, but Fukiko shakes her head, smiling serenely.

“I know when I'm defeated, Nanako. Since the governors have not yet spoken, I intend to dissolve the sorority myself.” Her eyes glisten slightly in the midday sun. “But don't pity me. I will carry on, as I always have.” She pauses for a moment, and brushes a stray hair away from her face. “I actually wanted to speak to you about Rei.”

Nanako's cheeks darken. She too holds a fragrantly blossoming rose between her fingers, fiddling with it to dispel some of the intensity of the conversation.

“I'm pleased to see her so happy.” She pauses, her gaze veering off somewhere in the distance. “I know our relationship must seem strange to you. I admit, I have treated her despicably cruelly at times, but now that I see her shining in the glow of your love, my soul is growing heavy with guilt.” She sighs. “I wanted to tell you more about our past, so that you can understand me at least, if not forgive me entirely.”

This is the most vulnerable Nanako has seen Fukiko, although there's barely even a hint of a crack in her pride. She dares herself to meet Fukiko's eyes. Her finely-plucked brows are furrowed and she almost looks lost for words.

“On her deathbed, the woman I grew up believing to be my mother told me that I was not her true daughter. I was born as the result of my father's affair with another woman – Rei's mother.” She plucks the head off a dying rose and tosses it onto the path with almost imperceptibly shaking fingers. “I was so ashamed to find out my real heritage, I took it out on Rei. Every time I looked at her, I was reminded of my secret. I couldn't bear it – I tried so hard to make myself hate her. In some ways I did, but mostly I could not bring myself to truly mean the terrible things I thought and said. I dearly loved her, and still do.”

Fukiko laughs mirthlessly, and Nanako wonders if she should offer her a hug. _So she knows..._

“There's still time to make ammends,” she says, settling for a gentle stroke of Fukiko's shoulder. She hopes she managed to look convincingly surprised at her confession. “Repairing the damage between you won't be easy, but I'm sure it's not impossible.”

“If only I'd told her years ago... We could have been real sisters. We could have loved each other properly, and supported one another. I could have supported _her_ so much more than I did.”

Nanako subtly checks her watch as she nods. She's late to meet Saint-Juste for lunch, but this conversation seems too important to run away from. She momentarily feels like banging the sisters' heads together for hurting themselves for so long in guarding the same secret, but she knows that it isn't her place to divulge her lover's admission.

“It's never too late,” says Nanako brightly, patiently. “I hope you do manage to reach out to her. I think she'd appreciate it.”

Fukiko smiles with a virtually unseen radiance. “I'm glad you think so.” She turns as though she's about to leave, then pauses. “Thank you, Nanako, for listening to me – and for at least appearing to have faith in our reconciliation.”

Nanako watches her walk to the sorority house, wondering what or whether she should tell Saint-Juste about their conversation. Tired of worrying, she pushes it to the back of her mind and runs across the school grounds to the clocktower.

  
  


“I was beginning to worry you weren't coming!”

“I'm sorry, Saint-Juste – I got distracted on the way.” Nanako almost throws herself down next to Rei, who's halfway through eating a sandwich. Nanako smiles. “If you carry on eating like this, I'll have to find some other way of looking after you.”

“You don't have to look after me,” Rei protests. She takes a healthy bite, then puts the sandwich back in its box for safekeeping. “I have grown fond of your cooking, though.”

Nanako kisses her lightly on the cheek. “I like showing that I care.”

Rei smirks, with a mischievous glint in her eye. “There are many ways of showing that you care.”

She wraps her arm around Nanako's waist, while her hand slips onto her exposed thigh. Nanako shivers as Rei's lips oh-so-gently graze her neck.

“Do you want me to show you right now?”

Saint-Juste's sweet breath tickles her and she giggles, nodding, unsure of what Rei has planned but more than willing to submit. Rei's fingers trace a slow line up over her thighs towards her underwear; she barely breathes as she wills them to move further, to touch her properly.

“Relax, Nanako...”

Saint-Juste's fingers tease expertly at the thin cotton of her pants, and she wonders how many others Rei has been with. Not that it matters – Rei pulls the elastic of her underwear out of the way, exploring delicately – all that matters is that they're here now, and Rei's making _her_ feel amazing. Her fingers are definitely those of a musician: long, delicate and deft. Nanako moans a little, then claps her hand to her mouth.

“What if Kaoru walks in on us?” she whispers.

Saint-Juste chuckles, but she doesn't stop. “I doubt she will... But doesn't the risk make it more exciting?”

Nanako opens her mouth to argue, but finds she doesn't want to. In this moment she utterly belongs to Saint-Juste; damp with sweat, burning her throat with quick, uneven breaths, melting into her chest, she's never felt this good before. Saint-Juste nibbles at her neck just as the hot strokes of her fingers reach their peak; Nanako bites her lip, fighting for a semblance of control as her body spasms in Rei's arms. She sighs in wonder and Rei laughs.

“Wow, I didn't expect...” Saint-Juste thinks better of her words and shakes her head. “I'm glad you seemed to enjoy that so much.”

Nanako turns around and dizzily kisses her. She's still aching, burning, pulsing as she rearranges her underwear. All she can manage to say is her lover's name as she collapses onto her. Saint-Juste strokes her hair softly as she stares into space with a blissful smile.


	4. Chapter 4

“See you later, stranger,” says Tomoko with a wink, as Nanako makes her apologies to go and meet Saint-Juste in the clocktower.

Nanako waves, her skirt billowing out behind her in the wind as she runs, deliciously excited for what might await her this lunchtime. She thinks back to that first time last week, the first time she and Rei... She's blushing as she opens the door and her heart skips a jaunty yet sickening beat.

The tower seems friendlier already. Perhaps good memories do have the power to heal a place after all; last Friday she, Rei and Kaoru had painted over and around the outline of Fukiko with paints stolen from the art rooms. There's a whole garden painted on that wall now, with roses, blossoming cherry trees and butterflies in vivid pinks, greens, purples and yellows.

As her footsteps echo up the stairs, she swears she can hear something else – someone else, perhaps. Faint yet unmistakable sobs, along with the faint scent of tobacco smoke.

“Saint-Juste?” she calls, quickening her pace.

There is only silence in response.

She opens the door, repeating her lover's nickname, but she's stunned when she sees who's really there.

“Kaoru!”

Kaoru takes a long drag on her cigarette, while Nanako stares. This isn't the strong Kaoru she knows, determined to make the best of her life. The young woman in front of her looks distraught, broken, as she sits alone with swollen eyes, pitifully working her way through a packet of cigarettes.

“I'm sorry to intrude, Nanako,” she mumbles, exhaling smoke into the gloom.

“What's wrong?” Nanako sits next to her gently; by now she's used to looking after people, listening as they talk, and being there when they need to reach out.

Kaoru shakes her head, as though unable to form the words. It's disconcerting for Nanako to see the most together person she knows in such a mess.

“The doctor says I need more tests.” Her voice is hoarse. She stubs out her cigarette on the floor where Rei usually stubs hers. “Nanako, do you know the chance of survival from a relapse so soon after...”

“So soon after what?”

There's a hint of frustration at Nanako's damned naivete, but Kaoru can't bring herself to feel it. “I... look.” She slowly unbuttons her shirt, and then opens it to reveal her perfectly flat chest, with large scars where each of her breasts used to be. Tears prickle Nanako's eyes. “I had a mastectomy to treat my breast cancer. The doctor said that if it doesn't come back within five years, I should survive. But with my recent relapse...”

The water in Kaoru's eyes spills down her cheeks in gushing streams of tears, and she reaches for another cigarette. It finally dawns on Nanako what's wrong.

“You can't think like that, Kaoru! You've always been the one encouraging Saint-Juste to live her life to the full, to keep herself healthy and let go of her worries. Even if you _were_ going to... You can't let that limit you.” Nanako wraps her arms around the grateful Kaoru, her own eyes dripping helplessly.

There's a creak behind them.

“Nanako, is that you in there? Are you _smoking_?”

Nanako pulls away from Kaoru, stroking her wrist soothingly, and then stands up to greet Rei with a quick peck on the cheek.

Kaoru begins, “I'm sorry to -”

“You're not intruding,” insists Rei, taking the place that Nanako has left vacant. “What's wrong?”

Kaoru bursts into tears as she tells Rei all about the appointment with her doctor. Nanako kneels in front of them, watching as Rei soothes her friend, feeling rather useless herself. She's glad that Kaoru has Saint-Juste, though; she seems to grow calmer almost as soon as she lays her head down on Rei's shoulder.

Rei takes the cigarette from Kaoru's fingers, and takes a drag herself. “Hypocrite,” she says, shaking her head. “I think we have different definitions of a full life, Kaoru.”

Kaoru sits up straight. “What do you mean?”

Rei sighs. “Life's short... Unpredictable. _Unfair_. Any one of us could get hit by a train tomorrow. We don't have time for regrets.” Nanako and Kaoru exchange glances, wondering where this is heading. Rei grins. “Are you with me, Kaoru?”

She shrugs cautiously in response.

“If you truly believe you're going to die, there's something I want you to do.”

“Saint-Juste! That's not -”

“It's okay, Nanako,” says Kaoru, slightly wearily. “I'm curious to hear her out, although I can probably guess where this is going.”

Rei chuckles, running a hand through her dirty blonde hair. Nanako isn't sure whether or not she should feel horrified at how much Saint-Juste seems to be enjoying this.

“Takehiko – I want you to talk to him again. If you really are dying, you deserve to spend just one more perfect day with him.”

“I can't believe you're so – so _blasé_ about everything, Rei.” Kaoru looks on the edge of either laughter or tears, but Nanako has no idea which.

“What can I say, my optimism has returned lately.”

“It wouldn't be fair on him. You know it wouldn't. That's why we broke up in the first place.”

Nanako looks between the two other young women, processing their words. Takehiko – her dear brother – and Kaoru?

Rei snorts, but Nanako challenges her. “Isn't that his decision to make? If he loves you, he'll want to spend as much time as he can with you. If that's only months or a few years... Well, that's better than nothing, isn't it?”

Rei's head turns sharply at that, but there's a hint of a smile on Kaoru's lips, fluttering like a lost bird.

“I'll think about it. I'm sorry again for interrupting your, uh...” She trails off. “Thank you both. I really mean it.”

As she stands to leave, both Nanako and Rei envelope her in a tight, squishy hug. She walks away with her usual air of serene self-control and Rei's shoulders sag in relief.

Nanako and Saint-Juste share their lunch as usual, and briefly catch up after a weekend apart, but Rei is quieter than usual, a little less free. Nanako knows she's worried about her friend, but doesn't dare admit it in case Kaoru really is going to die. If there's anything Rei's good at, it's denying reality – or blocking it out. Nanako's thoughts briefly drift to all those pills in Saint-Juste's apartment – the ones she likes to pretend she doesn't have any more – but things have changed, right? They're just a... a precaution. Saint-Juste wouldn't do anything rash.

  
  


The doorbell rings, tearing Rei from her sleep. She groans, rolls over, hopes it was a mistake. It rings again once, then twice, then insistently. She reluctantly sits up in bed and staggers to the door, wondering who on Earth it could be at this hour. She should have known.

“Nanako?” she croaks, and presses the buzzer to let her in. Moments later she's at the door and Rei waves her inside. “What's going on?”

Nanako blushes. She's twirling a bag around in her hands, looking fixedly at the floor as she apologises, before replying, “I couldn't sleep, Saint-Juste. I just – I just wanted to see you.”

She doesn't look up to see Rei's radiant smile.

“I've been worrying about Kaoru... and about you.”

Rei raises an eyebrow as she holds out her arms for Nanako to fall into. “There's no need to worry about either of us. Come, stand with me on the balcony for a moment.”

The faintest blue lights of dawn are just beginning to creep up over the city skyline. Nanako lays down her bag and follows Rei through the sliding door, shivering slightly in the cool morning air. Rei pulls out a cigarette and lights it, gazing into the distance. Nanako puts her arm around her waist and snuggles close to her; Saint-Juste's presence almost instantly soothes her troubled mind.

“I've known Kaoru for a while, Nanako, and in that time she's been through a lot... But the one thing about her that's always stayed constant is her strength.” She smiles softly, then exhales a plume of smoke into the lightening sky. “Even the strongest people suffer sometimes, fall victim to their hopelessness, but I know that Kaoru will get back up again. I wish... I'd just like to see her in love once more, if she is to succumb to her illness.”

“Takehiko never mentioned her in his letters... It's strange how I thought I knew him, but in reality I know almost nothing about him.” Nanako gives a self-depreciating laugh. “Perhaps I should be embarrassed then, that he knows so much about me.”

Rei flashes her usual mischievous grin. “Did you tell him about us?”

“Well, I... I wrote him a letter at the weekend, but I don't know if he's read it yet.” Cheeks burning, she adds, “I didn't write anything about what you did in the clocktower!”

Laughing, Rei flicks her spent cigarette over the railing. “I would hope not! I don't imagine he'd want to think about his sweet little sister with my fingers inside her.”

“You sure have a way with words,” says Nanako, shaking her head.

Rei cradles Nanako in her arms, kissing her tousled brown hair. “It's a good job you never fell in love with your brother, you know.”

“Why?”

“Because you wouldn't be free to fall in love with me,” comes Saint-Juste's dreamy response, but Nanako isn't satisfied. She wriggles away, and studies Saint-Juste's smiling face for any hint of what she really meant.

“Where did that come from?”

Rei sighs. “I don't know. I'm sorry. It was just something Kaoru said -” she winces “- and I'm not the one who should be telling you.”

Nanako's heart sinks right to the depths of her stomach. “What do you mean?”

“Takehiko _is_ your brother, Nanako. Your step-brother.”

There are too many questions swimming around Nanako's head for her to think clearly enough to respond. She steadies herself on the cold railing of the balcony. Finally, she manages to open her mouth.

“How can that be?”

Rei wraps her arms around her so tightly Nanako can barely breathe – or is it just that Saint-Juste's revelation knocked the air out of her lungs?

“I'm so sorry, Nanako. I was teasing, but I didn't think... I never think, do I?”

Nanako nuzzles into Rei's shoulder. Despite everything, she wouldn't choose to be anywhere in the world but safely enveloped in Saint-Juste's long arms. “Don't put yourself down,” she whispers. “I'll talk to my father tomorrow... Someday. Can we just enjoy the sunrise?”

“Maybe you should get some sleep. It's nearly four-thirty in the morning.”

Nanako chuckles. “It's unlike you to be so stern, Saint-Juste. I think I like it.”

“Come inside. I...” Saint-Juste hesitates, then shakes her head and continues, “I want you to have something.”

She takes Nanako's hand and pulls her into her mirrored bedroom. She carefully picks up the beautiful china doll from her bedside table and passes it to Nanako.

“She was a gift from my sister, and still is one of my most treasured possessions, but...” Saint-Juste rubs the scar under her bracelet. “Recently she's been reminding me of things I'd rather not think about. It would mean a lot to me if you'd keep her safe.”

“Really?” Nanako holds the doll gingerly at first, but then cuddles her close.

Saint-Juste nods, with a small, sad smile. “I thought... If you keep her in your bedroom, if ever you can't sleep at night you can look at her and remember that I care for you. Your parents must be terribly worried about you coming here at night.”

Nanako doesn't reply, but she knows Saint-Juste is right. When she looks up, she realises Rei is studying her, as though trying to gauge her reaction. “Thank you,” she says, yawning. “I mean it.”

“Did I see a nightie in your bag? Why don't we get some sleep now?”

Nanako nods, but she doesn't bother finding her bag. She strips to her underwear and collapses on Saint-Juste's bed, still holding the doll. Rei smiles, strokes her cheek, and curls up right next to her.


End file.
